Always Dating

In my special anniversary post last year, one of the tips I talked about was always dating. This is a concept that actually originated early on in my relationship with my hubby. We decided right from the beginning that no matter what, we would always be dating. I my previous post, I discussed how this meant we always put in the extra effort for any outings we went on. But really, it’s more than that. I want you to take a moment and think back to when you and your spouse first started dating. Seriously, take a moment, close your eyes, and really take yourself back to those first few dates. What did you feel? Excitement? Butterflies? The joy of the unknown? That “anything can happen” mentality? The anticipation of what’s next?

That’s really what I mean by always dating. It’s not only about putting in the same effort as your early days, but also finding ways to recapture the feeling of dating. I know, I know, you’re thinking “Shannon, how can I possibly still feel that way when I’ve been married for several years and have 3 kids and a career to worry about?!?” I get it. It’s not easy. BUT, it is easier than living through a sucky marriage, or worse yet, a sucky divorce. So here’s some of my go to tips on how to continue always dating:

1. Set a weekly date night and stick to it—This is one of the easiest (and more difficult) of my tips for always dating. It’s easy to set a weekly date night, but sometimes hard to stick to it. But trust me, your marriage needs this. Setting a regular date night shows that you are putting your marriage first, even if it’s a slight sacrifice at times. I know when you were first dating you made certain adjustments to ensure the relationship continued to grow. Now that you’re married, guess what… that hasn’t changed! Actually setting a regular date night says to your spouse and the world that you put your relationship first.

2. Have a grand plan—This is another tip that I often get push back on from my clients, so I think it’s worth going into a bit more detail. When I tell couples to have a grand plan for their weekly date night, I’m not saying you need to go out for a 5-course meal every week (unless you can afford it and that’s actually what you want to do). As a matter of fact, I’m not saying you need to spend any money at all. What I am saying, is in order for the always dating concept to work, there needs to be some type of build up and anticipation. Remember how I asked you to invoke those early dating emotions? Well, I’m willing to bet that a major factor in those feelings of excitement, butterflies, etc. were a result of some good old-fashioned anticipation. And if you want to fully reap the benefits of always dating, you have to build that anticipation each and every week. So if your date night for this week will be starting a new series on Netflix with a bucket of popcorn and a bottle of wine, then make sure you put in the work for the build-up. Throughout the week, talk about your upcoming date. Text each other “love notes” about looking forward to date night. The possibilities are endless!

3. Get creative—This final tip ties into both tips 1 & 2. By getting creative with your date night plans, you hit 1.) making it easier to stick to your date nights and 2.) gives you your much-needed grand plan. And as an added bonus, getting creative can also mean finding fun ways to do date night for free or nearly free. For an extra twist, take turns planning the date night activity. And if you need some creative ideas to help get you started, check out one of my go to sites for creative date ideas, thedatingdivas.com. I’ve been utilizing their tools and ideas for years, and I promise there’s something for everyone!

So, there you have it! My top 3 tips for keeping date night alive. Do you have a regular date night with your spouse? What are your favorite dating activities? Let me know in the comments below!

Would you like to work with me? Reach out via phone at 910-745-0303 or fill out the contact form on the website.

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